THE POWER OF SELF LOVE
YOU WERE
BORN TO BE REAL
NOT PERFECT
~ITUMELENGMONAKHISI
Imagine living your whole life trying to fit in or trying to be perfect, this life has taught me that you can never be good enough for people. I wish I was taught to love myself at an early stage of life, that would have helped me to avoid a lot of bad experiences I went through.
but I guess I had to learn the hard way and that made me even stronger.
I grew up having low self-esteem because I didn't understand why I was bigger than my friends. I hated myself and sometimes felt like changing my image, I grew up trying extra hard to fit in, and would sometimes hang with people who were boring me just for the sake of trying to be cool.
my teenage life was not nice at all until I got to varsity, everything changed I didn't have friends but people wanted to be friends with me, was getting a lot of attention from guys and that boosted my fake confidence. I started loving my life the attention I was getting but deep down I wasn't really happy, I dated a lot of guys but the relationships didn't last because I was cocky and full of myself.
until I met this guy from Pretoria, based on his looks he was someone that I wouldn't even think of dating but nigger was so fucken smart and he knew how to make me smile and he listened to me there was just something different about him. he made me fall in love with him and I fell deeply in love with him not knowing that I was making the biggest mistake of my life. when he finally saw that I was now under his wing, he started manipulating me, making me feel like I ain't shit, he is just doing me a favor and he can get any woman that he wants anytime, and men just wanna fuck me because I'm just a sex object. I started believing all these things that he was saying to me coz I didn't deal with my self-love issues.
I stopped caring about myself started being careless and believing that maybe there's no man that's gonna love me, he loves me so I should stick with him even when he was emotionally abusing me. I knew he was bad for me I wanted to let him go but I couldn't he was tearing me apart breaking me into pieces but I stayed with him for 3 freaking years. I knew what I had to do but the things that he was saying to me made me believe that he loved me. but I finally got over him. I met an amazing guy , at first I was so afraid to love cause of my past experience with men. but his persistence and not giving up on me is what made me fall in love with him.
I finally understood that you can never achieve anything in this lifetime unless you love yourself, know your worth, believe in yourself and be ok with yourself. you have to deeply know yourself because when you know you nothing can break you.
